When a secure pension and financial stability just isn't enough...
When I left my teaching job last year it came with a zillion unknowns and lots of fear. I nearly threw up at the idea of such deep change. What would happen to me if I totally shed that identity? Would my family suffer my choices? Would my children have less?
What about all the time and money I've already invested in my teaching certification?
Did I just waste so many years teaching, just to leave? What about 100's of hours "professionally developing"?
What about my pension, my security with income?
How can I walk away from all of that?
But, when I sat with the idea of how I would make teaching work with two little ones, 50+hrs of work/travel a week I asked myself: what was the quality I was creating in my life?
Because that's what life is about. What is the quality you are seeking to create--both inside and out?
If we continue to make our own choices about, "what is the most practical and 'responsible' thing, vs what is it that I truly want to do, we negate our own responsibility to ourselves and our own right to be happy. We betray our deepest truths.
Sometimes, though, shifting gears from one way of thinking to another is really tough. We have to shed old parts of ourselves and that is the scary part, despite knowing
What We are ALL Seeking
You don’t have to be on a spiritual journey to feel the sense, to know in your heart, that you are forever seeking boundlessness. You want to be limitless. You are and have always been seeking expansive space to be who you are and do what you want.
You want be YOU, without seeking permission.
When you find yourself fluttering in anxiety or stress, it’s often because there is some part of you that is trying to stop this natural desire. Trying to live boxed into an identity that doesn’t feel good and doesn’t serve your higher purpose causes pain, panic and fear.
We are forever evolving, never crossing the same river twice.
And yet, we find can find ourselves betraying this universal truth in our everyday lives. We can hold ourselves back from growth, even on an unconscious level. If our default to grow and change (i.e. do the inner work to move beyond our stress triggers) is that we aren’t deserving because we don’t have the time, the money or that we don’t see our mental health as important as our physical health, we must be okay with staying the same. We must be okay with how our lives are and be fully prepared to continue on with the way things are going. If we are not okay with how things are and yet we continue to do things the same way, our spirit gets restless, sometimes angry and fearful.
But it really doesn't have to be this way. And making those inner shifts are far easier than we think.
It all starts with simply making peace with our minds and the stories that go on up there in that hamster wheel of thoughts.
And this doesn't even mean we HAVE to have a regular meditation practise.
But what it DOES mean is that we get to make a commitment to ourselves and request support. We don't have to do the inner work alone--in fact, its almost impossible to try and do it all alone. We need our tribe, our sisters, our network of support to really flourish on all levels.
So welcome in a place in your live to really evolve, release old parts of yourself that no longer serve you and start the inner work one step at a time.
I always knew I had a sense of quiet within me...
Leanna Jane Lewis